My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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