I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
