Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize
