I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
