I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she looked like the before picture.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
