a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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