He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
