ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
