My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
