I bet he comes in French.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
