HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
