Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
