Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize