nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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