Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Everyone says I win the strip club
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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