omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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