Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
