WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
