I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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