why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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