he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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