I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
