What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
