Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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