The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize