im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
