Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
