respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
