At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
