It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
