How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
