Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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