lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
