4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
