it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize