people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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