All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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