He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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