Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
high people should be assigned attendants
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
