he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
