Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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