conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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