you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
