90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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