u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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