He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
