hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
