2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
