can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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