Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
