Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Randomize
