This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize
