That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
