are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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