What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Randomize
