no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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