Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize