is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize